Motherhood has not been easy, but I am so proud of how far I have come. Sometimes I still cannot believe I am someone’s mother. I have a child that I cannot return to the sender. lol There have been times I have cried in the shower, the car, and to sleep. I have cried due to feeling like a failure as a mother because I felt like I had to have it all together. There have been times I would not ask for help and sometimes I still don’t because I don’t want people thinking I can’t handle the pressure. Being the oldest, there has always been pressure of setting the example for the ones under me, so admitting I needed help just did not sit right with me. Now, I have gotten better because things were getting overwhelming, and I felt that postpartum depression was trying to creep in. I knew if I reached that stage, I would not be any good for my child. I nipped that in the butt quickly by reaching out to my mother.
Originally, I let the feelings of someone else get in between what I needed, which was my mother. I needed my mother. My mother knew from the beginning that I needed to be with her as a first-time mother, especially due to me healing from the C-Section and nursing but she did not force it. She let me make my own choices and reminded me that she was there whenever I was ready. Goodness, motherhood can be scary at times, but it has its joys too. I have grown so much more since I have become one. In those dark times, my child has been my light. I want more for myself and for him because this world we live in is becoming uglier every day. I was in graduate school and working three jobs, while I was pregnant with my blessing. I finished my MBA before he was born, published three books since he was born, and have more to come. I am even home with him more now, educating him, loving him, and creating beautiful memories.
Motherhood is not all cupcakes and rainbows, if anyone tells you differently, it is a LIE lol. Although, I will admit, my son is the blessing I did not know I needed so soon. I have grown and learned so much more about myself that I didn't know existed!
“Being A Mother Is Learning About Strengths, You Didn’t Know You Had.”
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